An AWP Recap.
This just in: writers continue to hustle.
Like so many of you, I spent last Saturday afternoon at a local Hands Off! rally. Between Cory Booker’s groundbreaking (and record-breaking!) speech and seeing posts from friends shouting their support all over the world, I ended my weekend feeling hopeful. The signs at my local rally alone were enough to lift my spirits, but the sheer number of people who showed up across the country left me speechless. Maybe, just maybe, all is not lost.
I’ve been recovering from AWP burnout, which is a real thing that I’d love to write about in-depth at some point. Writing is so solitary, no matter which way you turn it. I’m a frequent (though discerning) participant in writing groups large and small— I’m in Amy Shearn’s weekly journaling workshop through the Writing Co-Lab, and I meet with a group of women three mornings a week for two or three rounds of Pomodoros. I also have a dear friend and writing partner who I write with throughout the week as our schedules allow. Still, the majority of my work happens when I am alone, as is true for most writers I know.
It’s a lot to go from that daily solitude to a conference center packed with 13,000 people, booths and tables filling the book fair space, lines for coffee extending down hallways and around corners and bleeding into the food lines and the registrations lines and the book signing lines.
It’s a lot to always be bumping into someone you know, greeting them with genuine enthusiasm, trading quips about how the work’s going or not going, asking if and where they’re getting lunch, if they’d like to join you, no worries if not!
There’s the prep, the planning, the packing— for three people, if you’re me and have to bring your kids— all before you take one step out the door. There’s the travel, the scheduling, the ache of finding out two panels you promised to attend are booked in the same time slot.
There’s the traipsing in and out of an enormous building two or three times a day, depending on how willing you are to shell out for the terrible conference center food. There’s the balancing social niceties and networking with the unyielding need to keep your noise-cancelling headphones over your ears at all times.
There’s the figuring out who’s going to be where, which panels you absolutely can’t miss because your friend or your favorite writer is presenting, which after-parties and off-sites are going to be worth yelling conversations over music and staying out past 10pm.
I’ve had AWPs when I felt very outside of things. I didn’t know anyone and hadn’t published with any of the magazines at the book fair. I could walk through the whole enormous room and never speak a word to anyone. There were no party invitations in my inbox and nowhere to go after 4pm besides hopping between trendy bars hoping I’d stumble into something resembling a writer’s gathering.
This year was the first year I felt like I had something to show for myself. I knew editors at many of the book fair booths and didn’t feel awkward dropping by to say hi. I had so many writer friends attending that I didn’t get to see them all. I was invited to drinks things and after events! This was the first year I attended AWP and felt like I have a place in the writing community.
All that said, here’s a recap of my AWP 25’1 in which I’ll break down my schedule for each day while shamelessly plugging as much of my friends’ work as I can:
Tuesday
Lunch with Turning Points writer and dear friend
at Porta Via in Beverly Hills. We caught up on life and writing, and she graciously offered to put me in touch with a good friend of hers who is the producer for the recently released Audrey’s Children, a film I feel connected to in a dozen different ways. She also recommended a book, Night Watch by Jayne Anne Phillips, which I ordered immediately.
I took my first (but not at all last) ride with Waymo, a company that provides driverless Ubers which Jack refused to ride in but which Carolyn and I found relaxing and fun. I’ve seen how human beings drive— we can only go up from there!
Tuesday night was a big group dinner: my Dad, Stepmother, Jack, and Carolyn met my close friends, the writers Bailey Gaylin Moore and Donald Quist, plus Bailey’s son Beck, at Baltaire for cocktails, mocktails, and seafood snacks before walking across the street for dinner at Palmeri’s.
Baltaire makes the best old fashioned I’ve ever tasted in my life (RIP to that indulgence), the shrimp in their shrimp cocktail are u8s, and their East Coast oysters are sourced from one of my favorite Massachusetts oyster companies. I live for it!
While out to dinner, I got an email that Jack’s passport was approved and had shipped (a saga, and a story for another time). I nearly cried at the table and floated through the rest of dinner in delirium.
Wednesday
I woke up to see my TIME piece had been published, which, really, what a way to begin a writer’s conference.
Wednesday night I read at the Thank You For Staying With Me + Past Ten Anthology launch. Bailey is one of my best friends, and I was so thrilled to be able to attend the launch of her debut essay collection!
I’m also honored to be one of the contributors to the Past Ten anthology (along with so many wonderful writers and friends, including the magnificent
!) It’s a project I’ve loved for a long time, and each time I’ve contributed I’ve pinched myself that I get to be part of such an amazing group of writers.
I got back to my Dad’s place Wednesday night and fell into bed feelig very not energetically ready for Thursday, my longest day of the conference.
Thursday
I was at the registration table picking up my badge and tote by 8am. I was hoping to attend the 9am panel on researching the personal in Creative Nonfiction, and I was glad to be at registration early— by 8:45 the registration line had snaked through the conference center’s entryway.
In all I made it to four panels: The Personal Archives, Literary Interviews and Why They Matter, Big & Bodied, and Financial Literacy. There was not a single miss in the bunch, I came away from each with pages of notes and a brain full of information.
I did not make it to Sloane Crosley’s talk and I have so many regrets about that, but I was burned out at that point and needed a meal and a sit. I had a hummus-filled solo lunch at Dune and read one of the books I’d picked up at the book fair while browsing between panels.
Then I went for Lady/Nonbinary Drinks organized by the wonderful Amy Brill at Crane’s bar, where I got and gave big hugs to Turning Points writers
, Bree Cox, , and . I scored a Hot Wax galley from M. L. and am now the envy of all of my reader friends.
I also met Nicole Graev Libson! I tore through Mothers & Other Fictional Characters days after it was published, but missed her book event in New York, and so was thrilled to catch her briefly in LA.
Friday
Friday I was at the conference center by 8:30 for a 9am panel on when and why to hire a book coach (which ended up inspiring a piece I’m pitching around about the influx of writing coaches and mentors and how to be discerning as a writer when hiring one!) followed by lunch with Nora, and then back to the conference in time to catch the 12:10 Sex Beyond Survival panel (standing room only! we love to see it!)
Then I took a midday break for some ‘me’ time which only really means one thing. Thanks to Iryna at Mantle for this work of art:
I’d planned on attending several off-sites and meetups Friday evening into the night, but Carolyn texted that she missed me and would I please meet them for dinner at the pho place they were excited to go to in Glendale? So, no Binders meetup for me, or Scribente Maternum offsite, or Must Love Memoir reading, or any of the other parties and events everyone else was scattering to. I ate bun and spring rolls and was in bed by 10.
Saturday
Carolyn came with me to the conference on Saturday, and she was quietly thrilled at how many people came up to her to say hi. If you were one of those people: thank you. It meant the world to her.
Though I strive to keep my writing focused on my own experiences, she and Jack are always present to different degrees, and I know Carolyn felt seen, valued, and recognized. She also spent a lot of time staring at the crowds of people and asking me, all these people are WRITERS? Like, real writers?
We hit up the book fair together, and Carolyn did some shopping. She picked up a literary tarot from F(r)iction, along with their latest issue, and it’s stunning. I tried to be discerning, but the last day of the book fair means discounts and bundles and who can resist, I ask you??
Carolyn also attended two panels with me— Writing Through Illness, and Traumedy (both of which she is an expert at.) So many familiar faces! I got to give Sue William Silverman a hug, which was of course the highlight of the day.
Carolyn clung to every word Ashley C. Ford spoke as part of the Traumedy panel, and afterward she grabbed me by the arm, looked into my face, and said, “I need to read everything she’s ever written.” Greatness recognizing greatness, truly.
My work is pretty abstract to the kids. They know I sit at my computer every morning and they correctly assume I stay there until they get home from school. They know the sound of my fingers banging away on the keys, and they know I need focus and quiet and time, but they don’t totally understand what I’m doing day-to-day until it shows up on the internet or is bound between two covers— a physical thing that will eventually take up space in our home.
It was delightful to share this part of my life with Carolyn and to see her explore it on her own. I was a little worried she’d be totally blasé and think her mom’s work is super cringe, but she seemed to revel in it. The joy of watching her, I tell you, was unparalleled.
Saturday should have been the AWP wrap-up party but that was wishful thinking, as I had nothing left to give to the conference life. We ended up having a nearly three-hour dinner at Bourbon Steak in Glendale with my dad and stepmom, and every bite was so out of this world I kept wondering when I was going to wake up. Perfectly vinegar-y and tender mixed mushrooms?? Bone marrow over filet?? Crisp, briny oysters with champagne mignonette? A basque cheesecake for dessert???
I flew home Sunday feeling sated, tired, glad for the week but ready to be home. We did get bumped from our flight, but were quickly put on a later flight that delayed us a short 90 minutes. For this inconvenience we were compensated over $3,000 in airline credit. When you see me in Italy next summer and Japan the following, know it’s the AWP ‘25 vouchers doing all the work!
Anyone who attends AWP knows it’s exhausting. It demands your energy, your attention, your enthusiasm. It leaves you recovering for days (a week?), but it’s also bursting with connection and inspiration.
I spend so much time alone, in my head, self-talking myself up, doing a ton of mental work to remind myself that I’m a writer, that my work matters, and there are people in the world who value it (and me.)
I’m at my desk for at least six hours a day, and by the afternoon I’ve usually spoken less than ten words, all to the dog. My fingertips go numb and my upper back aches from hunching over my laptop no matter how many stand breaks I take. It’s not lonely necessarily, because I don’t mind being alone, but it’s work to always be telling myself I’m doing good work.
Being around so many other people who are as invested in this work as I am, even if it’s just for a few days, is invigorating. It reminds me that I’m not alone, and that this all matters.
AWP ‘26 is in Baltimore and though I’m still recovering from Los Angeles, I’ve already booked my hotel. See you there, I hope, and in the meantime: keep showing up for your community and country. Every voice counts!
I actually flew in on Saturday the 22nd to hang out with my family so I wouldn’t feel like I was juggling seeing them and attending the conference (spoiler alert: I spent the whole week juggling family and conference!)
Love this! Reminds me of the chilled oysters and cucumber mignonette recipe I adapted from hit NYC restaurant Via Carota for easy home cooking!
check it out:
https://thesecretingredient.substack.com/p/get-via-carota-recipe-chilled-oysters-with-cucumber-mignonette
I love this recap! This was my first AWP and it's been fun comparing notes after and seeing how each attendee can have such a different path and a different book haul. :D Thank you for also writing about the self-doubt and imposter syndrome that's so easy to feel in these situations. I found it was crucial to take breaks and re-center myself.
Also: the Sloane Crosley talk was livestreamed so you might still be able to watch the recorded version! I watched it live and really enjoyed it, and now really want to read Rich Benjamin's book.